Tag: Anxiety

Grandma’s Quilt

On my way to check the mail yesterday evening I found two little girls lying in the still-warm grass. The elder of the two, towheaded with a face nearly swallowed by her round, red-framed glasses. The younger, a chubby Latina with a wide, gap-toothed grin. They were gazing up into

Amigurumi Unicorn

There is magic in this world. Perhaps not in the turning of the appropriate card, the flick of a phoenix-core wand, the transfiguration of frog to prince. But certainly there is magic in a change of heart; the frightened soul made brave by kindness. Not ancient text pulled from a

Amigurumi Sheep

When I was eight years old I nearly slept through the 1994 Northridge earthquake. Nearly, not for the vigorous tumbling of the great earth, but instead for the violent shouting of my father, “Cassie! Cassie!” as his strong hands wrenched me from bed to join him and my small, frightened brother

Amigurumi Taco

Good God, I need a laugh. Lately the world seems less to orbit and more to spiral. Down, down, down we go! I am often surprised by this state of affairs. Perhaps I should take that as a win? Perhaps I’m not as cynical as I once supposed? It just…it

Pastel Rainbow Blanket

I keep much of myself hidden. Do you? I worry I am too much. I know I think too much. I think spirals of worry that blossom into questions. And there are always too many questions. Like, am I a good person? Am I doing the right thing? Have I

Sassy Cactus Amigurumi

I feel summer on the horizon. It’s in the stale heat that blows through the foothills and settles each afternoon like an overworked dog in our parched valley. The succulents on my balcony, not so long ago fat with water and sending up blooms, have begun to shrivel back into

Sunny Amigurumi

I walk this earth always with a song in my heart. While the song may change, the music never ceases. Lately, when the world is silent, Stevie Wonder and his piano sing to me. “You are the sunshine of my life.” Why? Why this song? Why right now? I am

Amigurumi Doll

Today is the first day of Spring and the sky greeted me with gray. Sometimes you don’t get what you want. My first reaction is to complain. To lament the heavy boots when I was ready for sandals and sunshine on my freshly pedicured pink toes. To waste hours staring

Textured Slouchy Beanie

I feel Spring creeping in, but maybe there’s time for one last winter beanie. I wanted to run head first into the warmth, the long days, to be like the bright, happy flowers that turn their round faces to the brilliance. But part of me wants to keep the rain.

Amigurumi Popsicle

Today is my 7th anniversary. Not the sweet kind; not the kind commemorating union and achievement. The kind that marks hardship. That splits life in two. Into the blissfully ignorant Before. And the horrible After. The hard stop between a great scar down my vulnerable middle. A panic attack. A

Amigurumi Spring Chick

My soul itches. Under my skin, a gnawing. A piece of me wants out. I find myself in that uncomfortable in between: not yet sure of what’s changed, but aware of a difference. My routines feel stifling. I have a burning desire (white hot) to dye my hair, to tattoo

Pineapple Stitch Crop Top

I was at lunch with a friend. The fire rated drywall was painted to look like crumbling brick. The air smelled of frying fish and salted fries and butter sauce. I poured myself an old fashioned root beer from a shining metal tap and sat across from a woman filled with the

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